And so it goes, this soldier knows
The battle with the heart isn't easily won
But it can be won.
Look at this face...
So beautiful so very, very beautiful.
And it always will be. no matter how awkward, wrinkled, defiant, sad or any number of things it may someday be. I know that. But how do I help her know it?
Since the moment I found out we were having a girl I have wrestled with how to show my little beauty what it means to be a confidant, beautiful, strong, down-to-earth, true woman. I have struggled with it because so often I am not sure how to be those things myself.
I am an average women. A bit below average in height, and with some less than average interests but otherwise I share many similarities to others of my sex. I don't think I am fat (although I do feel fat sometimes) or ugly (although I do feel ugly sometimes) and I have my fair share of self confidence. But do I nitpick...yes...do I refuse to take a compliment...yes...do I feel like I should look better do better be better...not always but yes too often. I wish that she never had to feel such things.
And I know...I know....I know...she will watch me. She will listen to me. She will feel when I feel less than. She will sense the contradiction in my words when I tell her she is always beautiful and yet I do not believe it about myself.
I am so aware now of every time I look in the mirror and am dissatisfied by what I see. So aware of every time my husband complements me and I nay say.
Oh and I know what needs to be done.
Work.
Blah.
The part of parenting I knew would be my greatest challenge. Being the example. The example of a woman who chooses to believe that she is always beautiful because she has been made so. Because it is what she was made to be. The example of a woman who allows the Spirit within to shine through in true beauty.
And to do that takes work. It's a good thing I have such amazing motivation...
What do you think? If you have a daughter what are your thoughts on bringing up a beautiful, confident girl in our image obsessed world?
When she sees your doubts she will just have to listen to me. I will always be there to tell her how beautiful, caring and perfect you are. I will always be there to tell her how beautiful she is too.
ReplyDeleteI am still bringing up a beautiful, caring daughter even though she is 25 now. So the other thing you will realize is that the "bringing up" will continue on and on. It will be with you while Sophie is bringing up her children. Katie, you are full of wisdom and I am happy to see Trevor fits you so well. You need all the good Lord gives out to nourish that growing little Sophie all of her glorious live! I love you. Uncle Bill
ReplyDeleteWhat beauty - Sophie, and you Mom, your family, and reading this about your heart for your daughter. How much of what you say about Sophie is the same as I have felt for you, though my example is not one of beauty but in other ways. You are beautiful Katie, most especially your precious heart. What a blessing to witness you being such a wonderful mother. I know it is gift of grace from God but also your willing determined heart and mind. Bless you my precious child.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your wonderful and amazing comments. They warm my heart and bring me joy!
ReplyDeleteI could've written this post, as I too am plagued each day with how I will handle this scenario. How does one not appear to be a hypocrite, telling one's daughter they are beautiful just they way they are, and then to be observed obsessively putting on make up? I think about it each time I reach for the mascara.
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be an uphill battle. we would like to think our encouragement to be one's self, to value intelligence over looks, books over lip stick, and maybe (just maybe) video games will mold them into independent, intelligent, unique girls who will have the confidence to be who they are. But even I, at 25 years old, am now just starting to find my own confidence.
What a society we live in.
Katie,
ReplyDeleteI loved seeing the pictures of my beautiful granddaughter. She is so precious. She is also a lucky little girl to have been given such a wise and beautiful mother. Her father is a loving man - a gift to both of you - mother and daughter. For the three of you the future is bright. I love you much, Ann'e