Beautiful. Confidence.

And so it goes, this soldier knows

The battle with the heart isn't easily won

But it can be won.

Ingrid Michaelson - Soldier

Look at this face...

So beautiful so very, very beautiful.
And it always will be. no matter how awkward, wrinkled, defiant, sad or any number of things it may someday be. I know that. But how do I help her know it?
Since the moment I found out we were having a girl I have wrestled with how to show my little beauty what it means to be a confidant, beautiful, strong, down-to-earth, true woman. I have struggled with it because so often I am not sure how to be those things myself.

I am an average women. A bit below average in height, and with some less than average interests but otherwise I share many similarities to others of my sex. I don't think I am fat (although I do feel fat sometimes) or ugly (although I do feel ugly sometimes) and I have my fair share of self confidence. But do I nitpick...yes...do I refuse to take a compliment...yes...do I feel like I should look better do better be better...not always but yes too often. I wish that she never had to feel such things.
And I know...I know....I know...she will watch me. She will listen to me. She will feel when I feel less than. She will sense the contradiction in my words when I tell her she is always beautiful and yet I do not believe it about myself.

I am so aware now of every time I look in the mirror and am dissatisfied by what I see. So aware of every time my husband complements me and I nay say.
Oh and I know what needs to be done.
Work.
Blah.
The part of parenting I knew would be my greatest challenge. Being the example. The example of a woman who chooses to believe that she is always beautiful because she has been made so. Because it is what she was made to be. The example of a woman who allows the Spirit within to shine through in true beauty.
And to do that takes work. It's a good thing I have such amazing motivation...

What do you think? If you have a daughter what are your thoughts on bringing up a beautiful, confident girl in our image obsessed world?

Progress and the Park

So I have been busy and neglectful of my little blog.
We have finally made some progress..there was finally a weekend without rain and we were able to clear out everything from the garage and then put it all back in and organized manner (ahh the joy of a garage!) which left room to put all the "garage" stuff that was in my living room actually in the garage!
So this:

Is now this:

And this:

Is now this:

There is still much to be done and more "big kid" furniture and stuff to buy and still lots of boxes to unpack and organizing to do.....oh dear....

Today we made our very first visit to the park! And in typical Sophie fashion she responded with either "meh" or dislike.....typical....however in her defense it was a bit windy and a tiny bit chilly so perhaps that was part of what put a damper on the fun.

She did not like the swing

And was nonplussed by swinging with dad

And also by the slide

Windblown hair!

Sliding with mom was no more thrilling.

And I try to remind myself during these times when I am disappointed that my little one did not take to something right away...that someday she will cry when its time to leave the park....

Confession

I have a difficult baby. There I said it.
It has been very difficult for me to acknowledge that or even say it out loud. Partially because I don't want to seem like a wuss and mostly because I don't want anyone to think for a second that just because Sophie is difficult that I am not head over heals in love with her. I don't want anyone to think I am complaining or that I would change anything. Well maybe I would change it a little bit ! -)

I am very much so the happiest I have every been in my entire life. Literally all my dreams have come true! I am married to an amazing, wonderful, fantastic man who also happens to be my very best friend that I love spending time with. I have a beautiful little girl that I waited for impatiently for for over two years crying so many times because I could not wait to have her! I am blessed to be able to stay at home and devote my life to raising my children something that I feel I was made to do.
However......Sophie is a challenge....she challenges me to be patient to be kind and loving when I am at my most frustrated. She challenges me to push through sleep deprivation to give her my best even when I feel like I could fall over. She challenges me to endure through the discomfort and to look for and be grateful for the blessings that are mixed in with the challenge.
And I have this feeling that the challenge will continue for quite some time......and I also have this feeling that there is a very good reason that Sophie is my challenge child that it is good for me and that I will learn so much.
And oh how I love my challenge baby! She is as much a part of me as my arms are a part of me. She fills the great big whole that has been empty without her. She smiles and coos and sometimes cry's her way deeper into my heart every day.
And in the spirit of confession may I present. Crying baby....



Sorry about the loud annoying whistling!!