Life in the middle....

15 months

2011-10-17T23:52:00.001-05:00

So you know those things that before you become a parent you dislike other parents doing. My husband now has one of those...it always bothered him when a parent was asked how old their child was and they responded with a number of months.

But now when he is asked how old Sophie is...yeah he responds in months...because the difference between 12 or 13 months and 15 months is pretty stinkin huge!

I LOVE the toddler stage! They are so hilarious and the playing...the real playing is amazing...the stuff that dreams are made of.

I am astounded by her and feel like such a silly parent for every day being amazed by how smart my daughter is. But really she counts to five!! Well ok fine...I count and she points to her fingers and says "twoo" a lot. BUT heck I call that counting
Its sometimes honestly frustrating to love her so much because I know she will not really understand just how much I love her no matter how many times I tell her!

So intense!

She was so distracted by the flowers that I had the hardest time getting her to look at me!

Here she is reunited with Snow White! I decided that after 12 months I would start only photographing them together every three months....so here yeah here they are.

She didn't like the water?

Watching her become a little person and not a baby gives me pangs knowing that she will never ever be that tiny helpless sweet bundle again but that only lasts for a second because then she makes me laugh by hulking out. Oh what new wonders will tomorrow bring! :-)

Anyway.

2011-10-14T15:35:00.000-05:00

Ughhh....I have totally lost my motivation to blog. It just seem to disappear over night. For no apparent reason. All the same reasons to blog are still there...but no blogging has occurred So my fellow bloggers how do you stay motivated? How do you get out of a blogging blah?

Anyway...DISNEY WORLD....
Our anniversary trip was a. maz. ing.It truly is the most magical place on earth. That is not just a marketing ploy. We fully immersed ourselves in the entire world, using the Disney transportation, staying in a Disney hotel, going to all four Disney parks. And the more you experience the better it gets.
We really want to go back sans kids one more time before going without them just becomes too cruel!!
Out of the 504 pictures I took while we were there the below are just a few of my favorites!

Right before we headed out for our first park day!

We rode a lot of buses!

Waiting in line, more waiting in line, ahh a hippo!

Animal Kingdom

Disney's Hollywood Studios

STAR TOURS!

STAR TOURS! or STAY HYDRATED!

Kodak Picture Spot

Jungle cruse, Dole Whip (amazing), teacups

It really is a Magic Kingdom!

Our hotel/motel/resort/whatever...it was pretty!

We are at Disney World!

I know soooo many pictures! If you stopped looking and just started scrolling down I don't blame you one bit!

I really enjoyed having so much beauty and "novelty" to photograph. It was very difficult to narrow down to just these!
Seriously it was the best vacation we have ever taken!

Now if I can just get my butt motivated I have library visits, bubbles, park visits, Halloween preview and 15 months pictures and stories to share!

Speachless

2011-09-10T18:30:00.000-05:00

How do I feel about my husband and the last five year of marriage.
I don't think I can even begin to explain. I know I can't because I just typed and erased this post several times.
All I know is that I love him. Like you know. a. lot.

He is my world and is woven together with me in an inseparable way. And watching him be a dad....*sigh*....wow

I mean really...he acknowledges when he is wrong AND sincerely apologizes!

He goes to work every day to provide for his family. AND provides well...

This was right after we got married. We look SO young!

He tells me I am beautiful...AND I believe him :-)

He likes to dress up in costumes just like me!!!!! AND he looks awesome doing it!

Be jealous...you know you are.

There is just no other way to say it. He really is the man of my dreams....go ahead and laugh I don't care!

Happy Anniversary to my very best friend. Thank you so much for being the amazing husband that you are and thank you for making my life full and wonderful!.
Love,
Your wife!

Whew...

2011-09-06T21:42:00.002-05:00

So. The wedding is over..and has been for almost two weeks now. Life is mostly back to normal, Sophie is just now settling back into routine and being a happy girl!

Whew...so I had a moment of clarity and realized that the reason that I have felt like this year is so crazy and busy and out of control is because. It. Has. Been. Just in big life events alone...not to mention all the other little things.
My baby sister graduated from high school.
My daughter turned one.
My older sister got married.
And this Saturday is my 5th anniversary.
I know that last one isn't exactly a huge life event but to me its a pretty big deal. But more on that later.
For now here is a random hodge podge of wedding camera download!

I had the privilege of taking some pictures of my sister and her fiance two days before the wedding so we would have some shots of them to use at the wedding.

They are sooo cute!

Below are some pictures of wedding day prep and hair and makeup that my wonderful husband took for me!

And so just as we return to normal life we are going to leave it behind again....Trevor and I are leaving Friday for our anniversary trip....to....DISNEY WORLD! And no...we are not taking our 14 month old with us !-)

While we are extreeeeeemlyy excited we are not looking forward to missing our girl for 6 whole day's!

There is so much more to share...and so little time with which to do it!

Somebody's Getting Married...

2011-08-24T19:18:00.002-05:00

I love Muppets take Manhatten!

Also my sister is getting married this Friday! Which is why I have been MIA!

Sorry soon to return to regular blogging!

Birthday PTY!

2011-08-01T23:19:00.000-05:00

OHHHH my....well it was quite a day and totally worth it and so much fun. Little pickle preformed as if she had been rehearsing for the party for the past year. She preformed and entertained and hammed it up so much it left me wondering who this little one was and where my scared shy baby was!!!

I guess the bold colors inspired her!

I officially nicknamed her pickle when she was first born because she was just well...a PICKLE! Sometimes even a sour pickle ...and as I started thinking about planning her party I went back and forth on the idea of making it a "pickle" party.....finally I threw caution to the wind and decided to pickle it out.

I think she decided she likes birthday parties!

She took the tissue out of each bag like a pro...and then knew to look in the bag and get the gift!?!

She even got excited about the clothes!

Yes she is hugging the super cute outfit from her grammy!

She did so great signing "thank you" to everyone!

She was delicate about the cake at first but once she figured it out she dug right in!

Yumm!

Thank you so very much to all our friends and family for coming and making the party wonderful. And even more importantly thank you so much for the unique amazing and important part you play in Sophie's life!

It is impossible for me to explain how very much I am looking forward to the year ahead. Oh the places we will go.....

Party Preview and 1 year pictures part two.

2011-07-22T00:15:00.000-05:00

Here is a little taste of the upcoming 1 year birthday bash.

It will be a colorful day at least!

I am so far very glad that I decided to yank the idea of taking Sophie's picture with the same stuffed animal each month from a local radio personality. Sophie and Snow White have had lots of fun. And my how much has changed!

Oh my little one year old!

Yes she is standing on her own...but only because she did not realize it!

Lets get this party started!

Baby of destruction...

2011-07-15T12:44:00.001-05:00

Babies are essentially destructive in nature. They love to deconstruct, to make chaos, and to destroy.

And to support my argument. I present exhibit A....

I believe I have decisively proven my point!

One Year!!

2011-07-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

How do you sum up a year full of beautiful moments, amazing transformations and simple daily life....well I don't know but I gave it a shot!

Since we are not having her party for another two weeks we decided to give her some donuts as a special birthday treat. And she very quickly enjoyed her treat! Like seriously they did not last long.

The first year has been challenging and oh so extraordinary. Watching a little mewling infant transform into my busy little pickle has been astounding.

There is something indefinably special about that first year....something about how the little baby that you welcomed into your eager arms becomes such a deep part of you and yours.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful little Sophie!

D-Date!

2011-07-05T15:01:00.009-05:00

One year ago today was Sophie's due date! I was not a happy camper as the blog entry below is evidence of...
-----
I am 40 weeks pregnant!

Dun - Du - Da!

So here we are. Logically I know that July, 5th is not a magical day. That it is a ballpark figure somewhere in the realm of the time when I could possibly deliver my child.

I know this....I told myself this at the very beginning. And yet.......

The hormones its the hormones....I feel a bit as if I am having what I would describe as an out of body experience. I feel a certain way but I can see from my rational logical mind that it doesn't make any sense and yet I am not able to stop the feeling or the reaction sometimes. Ahhhhhgggg.

We went here yesterday to walk around my ankles swelled up beautifully! I had somehow managed to never visit this place amazingly enough. It was very enjoyable as we both like old stuff and history! Distraction has never been so necessary!

------

The pictures below were taken a few day's before Sophie was born. Trevor said he wanted to make my belly look like a bowling ball.

When that didn't work out really well he moved on to other things and before you know it I ended up like this.

He said later that he was just going to keep going until I stopped him....and I am not really sure why I did not stop him before it got so far. Pregnancy brain is messed up!

Happy 4th!!

2011-07-05T14:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Independence Day! A day late !-)

Once again thanks to Grammy for the super cute dress!

Summer time swimmingly

2011-07-01T12:21:00.001-05:00

In Texas the only real way to enjoy being outside at all is to do so in the water. Therefore Sophie's first swim was important on several levels.

We have calculated using the latest scientific methods that the chances of Sophie really loving/enjoying her first experience with anything to be approximately 30%. This experience was definitively part of the 70% chance of not loving.

The most positive response was "meh" and the most negative was crying like we were killing her. It is fourtunate that we have learned our baby and were not disappointed and know that the second or third swim will be all we hope it will be. Or maybe the fifth swim :-)

Yes its true our little pickle is also a fraidy cat.

Checking out the water

Just dipping in the toes!

She did like the fountain!

Meh.....

...and wahhhh

Oh little one we are gona tell stories about you!!!

The Fathers Day

2011-06-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

While I was in college on my way to school I would drive buy this enormous store called Cabelas. I knew it was a sporting goods store and simply assumed it was as unremarkable (to me) as every other sporting goods store.
That is until one time after Trevor and I were married he asked me if I had ever visited this particular sporting goods store. I told him I had not visited and expressed my belief in its ordinariness.
Well in typical Trevor fashion I was corrected but without him actually telling me exactly what was so amazing and extraordinary about Cabelas. I would apparently have to wait and see for myself. Of course due to my impatience we visited not to long after that. And see I did. Let me just tell you....no wait, let me show you...

Since we had trekked out to Central Market for mothers day Trevor decide we should go to Cabelas for fathers day.
First we ate...yes they have a restaurant at this sporting goods store.

Then we checked out some of the animals.

Then we did some shopping.

Then we looked at more animals....

We even went on a safari oooohhhh. ahhhh.

Happy Fathers Day to the amazing dad Sophie is so very fortunate to have!

I love you both in ways I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you.

Tricks..

2011-06-13T15:49:00.002-05:00

So about a month and a half ago Sophie reached one of my favorite stages...the "trick" stage as demonstrated below...

She also without prompting started "talking" on the phone!

Needless to say we went a bit wild over it! Tricks are so much fun!

Hope we didn't loose anyone in our first time travelling post!!

Hiatus

2011-06-10T19:08:00.002-05:00

So I guess I took an unplanned hiatus from blogging. Sorry all :-(
We will have to take a trip back in time because time travel is cool and full of possible paradoxes....but anyway...
we should start in the present with this amazing cutie...

she is heart melting-ly wonderful...

she is a mover and a shaker

and she LOVES books...

her laugh is incredible and like all parents we will do any silly thing just to hear it..

The above smiles were created by mom singing the ABC song while interjecting Qapla' intermittently. It was hilarious.

We love her and every day I wonder over the fact that in less than a month she will be a year old. It feels like it was yesterday and yet it also feels like she has been here for always.

And soon I will attempt the aforementioned time travel without unraveling the universe or running into my other self :-)

OH my...

2011-04-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

So I have consistency issues (man I have a lot of issues!!)
My house stay's clean for a week and is a mess for a week and half. I am productive for three day's and get nothing of substance done for the next two. I work out for three weeks and.......well you get the idea!
Its EXTREMELY frustrating and something I have wished and prayed and strived to change.
Needless to say you as you can see it has spilled over into blogging....arrrrghrg

The big news: Three weeks ago Sophie turned nine months! And the day after she started crawling!!
She just keeps getting more and more mobile.....greeting me after her nap by standing up in her crib. And she just keeps getting more beautiful.

Here are her nine month pictures. I attempted something way above my skill level that should really never even be done - harsh sunlight and extremely hight contrast!....but little pickle is so cute she pulls it out for me in the end..

We love her. So much! The end.

Spring, Spring, Spring!

2011-04-05T20:28:00.002-05:00

For your listening pleasure because you cant really view it since the quality is horrible!

We don't get much of a spring down here in the south so what little we do get we have to throughly enjoy!
So that means smelling the flowers...

Eating mulch...

Gazing at beautiful blue sky's...

Drinking from water fountains...

Oh and now that little pickle LOVES it...spring is the time to swing, swing, swing!

Go out there and enjoy whatever spring you can get!!

Princess and the Pea..

2011-04-01T09:30:00.002-05:00

So Sophie loves peas. They are her very favorite finger food.

I had no idea however until a recent diaper change that she had taken to smuggling!

Camera News!

2011-03-31T09:03:00.001-05:00

So I don't know if anyone has noticed but I now have this amazing wonder!

I will not recount the saga of getting said amazing wonder but let me just say. It was a saga....and I cried a bit when it finally came in the mail.
I am currently on a pretty steep learning curve but am super excited and snapping away with many a wonderful and also many a horrible result! I have already purchased one book and have plans to obtain a couple more from the library...I also have to get more comfortable with carrying it around as I can no longer just throw it in my purse or diaper bag!!
It is everything I hoped and longed for it to be.....*happy sigh*
I just love it when a plan comes together!

St. Patrick Socks...

2011-03-17T20:44:00.001-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's day to you all!

Super cute matching socks courtesy of my amazing, wonderful mother in law! Thanks Grammy!

8 months + a week...oops!

2011-03-15T23:38:00.001-05:00

She is eight months old...oh yeah plus a week! Oh dear! I have been very remiss in blogging and there is so much to tell.
First you just have to see this little girl. She is well...she is!

Its wonderful how development ebbs and flows with times of major change and development and times of slow and subtle change.

Over the past few months things have been subtle indeed.

Just recently she started "talking" more. Her babble sounds more and more like "words" with varied sounds. She is so flirty now and will actually smile at strangers...and yet she is also in the throw's of some serious separation anxiety. And I am getting this feeling that we are about to get moving in the major change lane.

And the other day I realized that I have not even noticed that there are other babies that are younger than her out there crawling away....we are to busy enjoying our blessedly unhurried pace. Ha.

She has at least four top teeth leisurely making their way down... something that for several day's made us all completely miserable (I mean really we were all seriously miserable!) but one day quite suddenly the clouds parted and we were unbelievably glad to have our happy baby back.

Poor baby at the very end of our picture session she fell forward and bumped her lip...it got all swollen up :-(

Well that is enough random thoughts for now...coming soon camera news!

The cuteness....

2011-02-24T19:42:00.001-06:00

I just cant take it!

There is not enough time in the day and I can never give her enough kisses!

And yes after a lengthy search that is the new living room rug...its really more gray than it looks in the video. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself!

Ode to comb

2011-02-19T18:30:00.001-06:00

Oh comb how I love the...

All those many wonderful toys that I have...

They could never compare...

To your comby goodness....

I love the oh comb!

Beautiful. Confidence.

2011-02-16T16:29:00.003-06:00

And so it goes, this soldier knows

The battle with the heart isn't easily won

But it can be won.

Ingrid Michaelson - Soldier

Look at this face...

So beautiful so very, very beautiful.
And it always will be. no matter how awkward, wrinkled, defiant, sad or any number of things it may someday be. I know that. But how do I help her know it?
Since the moment I found out we were having a girl I have wrestled with how to show my little beauty what it means to be a confidant, beautiful, strong, down-to-earth, true woman. I have struggled with it because so often I am not sure how to be those things myself.

I am an average women. A bit below average in height, and with some less than average interests but otherwise I share many similarities to others of my sex. I don't think I am fat (although I do feel fat sometimes) or ugly (although I do feel ugly sometimes) and I have my fair share of self confidence. But do I nitpick...yes...do I refuse to take a compliment...yes...do I feel like I should look better do better be better...not always but yes too often. I wish that she never had to feel such things.
And I know...I know....I know...she will watch me. She will listen to me. She will feel when I feel less than. She will sense the contradiction in my words when I tell her she is always beautiful and yet I do not believe it about myself.

I am so aware now of every time I look in the mirror and am dissatisfied by what I see. So aware of every time my husband complements me and I nay say.
Oh and I know what needs to be done.
Work.
Blah.
The part of parenting I knew would be my greatest challenge. Being the example. The example of a woman who chooses to believe that she is always beautiful because she has been made so. Because it is what she was made to be. The example of a woman who allows the Spirit within to shine through in true beauty.
And to do that takes work. It's a good thing I have such amazing motivation...

What do you think? If you have a daughter what are your thoughts on bringing up a beautiful, confident girl in our image obsessed world?

7 Months...and the other side of the hill...

2011-02-09T20:58:00.002-06:00

I can not believe that we are here. Sophie is closer to being a year old than she is to being a newborn. How cliche I know but I really can not believe it...so much time gone so fast.
Trust me the hard times are still fairly fresh in my mind and I am really not wishing back the newborn day's quite yet! I like getting at least some more sleep and watching her play and looking forward to the end of the breastfeeding tunnel (bad mom I know...but when the time comes I will really be ready to be just plain me not milk factory!) and so many other things.
But for now...she is amazing...really...she is.

As we ramble on down the other side of the hill I continue to wonder...wonder at this amazing, wonderful, beautiful life that I am so blessed to be living. *sigh*

Progress and the Park

2011-02-06T16:44:00.002-06:00

So I have been busy and neglectful of my little blog.
We have finally made some progress..there was finally a weekend without rain and we were able to clear out everything from the garage and then put it all back in and organized manner (ahh the joy of a garage!) which left room to put all the "garage" stuff that was in my living room actually in the garage!
So this:

Is now this:

And this:

Is now this:

There is still much to be done and more "big kid" furniture and stuff to buy and still lots of boxes to unpack and organizing to do.....oh dear....

Today we made our very first visit to the park! And in typical Sophie fashion she responded with either "meh" or dislike.....typical....however in her defense it was a bit windy and a tiny bit chilly so perhaps that was part of what put a damper on the fun.

She did not like the swing

And was nonplussed by swinging with dad

And also by the slide

Windblown hair!

Sliding with mom was no more thrilling.

And I try to remind myself during these times when I am disappointed that my little one did not take to something right away...that someday she will cry when its time to leave the park....

The big S...or how much Sophie does not like new things.

2011-01-17T16:45:00.003-06:00

So on Thursday last week we finally decided to give Sophie her first taste of "solid" food! Due to the large number of food allergies including gluten intolerance on my side of the family we decided to skip over the traditional rice cereal and go for the yellow and orange veggies starting with yummy butternut squash.

Sophie responded with.........well you can see below:

Sorry if the video is kinda funny I had to edit it down as it was kinda long!!

Like all new or different things Sophie does not seem to really enjoy them at first! Fortunately she has since decided that she really does like the squash after all and is eating fairly well!

IKEA, IKEA I can see'ya your teetha!

2011-01-11T15:36:00.001-06:00

We took our first family trip to IKEA last Sarturday!

There was a bit of crying, no napping and only one small husband-wife fight so overall it was a wonderful success!

And we got this for little pickle in preparation of the start of solid foods...

We also got these...

Which little one seems to approve of.

I have been trying to get a shot of her two little teeth and here they are at last!

And here they are again :-(

6 Months!

2011-01-09T20:48:00.001-06:00

Half a year ago yesterday early in the wee hours of the morning we welcomed into this world our firstborn sweet little baby girl. What an amazing life transforming day that was. And how much has changed in just the space of six short months.

Just moments after she was born

A few days old

Sophie and Snow White the first Six Months!

One Week

Two Weeks

Three Weeks

One Month

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months

Five Months

Six Months

And here she is in all her six month old 15lb 6&1/2oz glory!

This is what she looked like after she woke up from her nap!

We are having such a blast and can not wait for the next six month of fun!

One more day for Cliff!

2011-01-07T10:37:00.000-06:00

Today is the last day to donate to the Cliff adoption fund!

Just wanted to be sure to let you all know!

Thanks to all who already donated and thanks everyone for indulging me and my sensitive little heart!

State of being.

2011-01-06T21:17:00.001-06:00

So this is the state we are currently in.

If it looks like a tornado came through and piled up/scattered about all of our stuff you would be completely right.

We moved in Thursday of last week and thanks to the wonderful and greatly appreciated help of family and friends it was fairly smooth and painless....however due to the fact that we were/are not quite done with some of the work on the house we had to simply put things were they could go.

Which means we are currently playing a wicked game of furniture/stuff tetris. Fortunately I happen to be really good at tetris (seriously back in my prime I could make it to level 18 and above) and am spinning and placing the pieces hoping that a strait piece will come along soon.

Working on the house, packing, unpacking and the like have consumed us for the past month and a half and its not over yet, there is still much to do and nothing is truly complete (which is nagging at me) but I am loving that its ours, its amazing and its a HOUSE!
Oh and Sophiekins makes everything better....these were taken the day before we moved. She was playing (she does that now, like really play's) while I packed!

Happy New Year everyone!

The most wonderful time of the year!

2010-12-26T12:17:00.000-06:00

Happy Christmas!

It was a wonderful Christmas!

just have to. make. the. best. of. it.

2010-12-24T11:03:00.003-06:00

We are still alive (I think) just limping along.
So much has happened since Nov 30th...let me explain...no wait there is no time let me sum up...
I missed Sophie's five month post. She is now five months three weeks and oh my how much has happened.

Helping to pick out her first Christmas Tree!

She rolls over! One day several weeks ago she rolled three times from back to belly. And of course Trevor and I missed it all three times! She has been rolling steady ever since however she is still not great at going from belly to back so she gets stuck and starts crying!

Baby's got teeth! Her two bottom front teeth have come through and soon should be showing in her sweet little smile!

She is doing a great job starting to sit up on her own. She still wobbles and falls over (the slow face plant) quite a bit but is doing a great job!

We had our first family cold...poor baby had a runny noes and a bit of a cough. Fortunately it was not too bad and everyone seems to be on the mend.

We were scheduled to close on our house Nov 30th but due to the incompetence of Chase bank (FYI never ever use Chase for any reason they were horrible) we ended up closing on Dec 3rd. And then we ran smack into the three rules of house/construction projects.
#1. It will always, always, always take waaaayyy longer than you think it will.
#2. If something can go wrong it will go wrong.
#3. If something outside of your project can happen or go wrong it will.
We were hoping to move the second week of December. We are now planning on moving next Thursday. We also had a bit of a case of bite-off-a-bit-more-than-you-can-chew-itis.
I could write paragraphs about my emotional upheaval during this whole thing but it all boils down to this.
We just have to make the best of it.
So Sophie's first Christmas is not the perfect picture I imagined and wanted to make it. So. What. Its her first Christmas, uniquely and completely, box filled and in the apartment that we first took her home to.

Box filled Christmas

The only other Christmas deco I put up

Someday when I am 90 years old and looking back on my life I bet I wont even remember how disappointed I was but I know I will remember my sweet little first born girl on her very first Christmas that she will not even remember except through the stories that we tell her! And hey at least those stories will be interesting!
And so whether your making the best of it or enjoying your picture perfect Christmas.....may joy fill your heart and have a Merry Christmas!!!

P.S. There are two movie quotes for this post... a partial one in the title and a paraphrased one in the body. Look at me go!

Workin on the weekend!

2010-11-30T20:21:00.001-06:00

So this is what we did over Thanksgiving weekend:

See what I mean by serious remodel! We are extremely blessed to have Trevor's step-dad who is an AMAZING and extremely talented contractor that can do anything. He is graciously helping us make this a house we can love.
The above picture is what the dining room currently looks like.
Below is the kitchen.

This is the view from the hallway looking into what was the living room and one of the bedrooms but is now all living room.

This is the living room/hallway from the former bedroom!

So far its looking amazing and all we have done is take things out! We still have a LOT of work to do and the next two weeks are going to be just crazy wild so if I don't post for a while you know why!

Taking up a cause...

2010-11-29T22:31:00.000-06:00

There are a few things that will always no matter what touch my heart. Two things in particular that whenever I hear or read about an applicable situation it drives me to want to "do" something and causes my heart to well up with emotion.

#1. Anything having to do with Down Syndrome

#2. Anything having to do with adoption.

The first because of this girl right here......

Thats my baby sister....my amazing, unbelievable, wonderful sister. I love her soooooo much!

And the second one because I have always (or for at least as long as I can remember) had a passion to adopt. Trevor and I have an amazing family! We have so many wonderful people that love and care about us and our child. I have always felt it was almost my duty to adopt and share the wonderful blessings we have been given.

So you can understand why I felt the need to pass along this amazing cause. Why when I was reading I couldn't stop the tears that welled up and why my heart swelled to "do" something (my first thought was that I wanted to take him home!)
Enough blabing I would like to introduce Cliff....

We have donated and I ask that any who feel they can would do the same....thanks for bareing with me while I take this cause on!

Confession....again.

2010-11-23T23:37:00.002-06:00

Another confession to make.
I know, I know my previous confession was not that big of a deal most people already knew and acknowledged it before I even did.
But this...this is different. So here goes....
I did not fall in love at first sight with Sophie.

I loved her ohhh my did I love her. I loved her with every part of me in a fierce mama bear sorta way. I loved her in an overwhelming way, she was my world total and complete.
But...I was not in love...there were not any birds singing, no bells ringing, no bright puffy clouds and skipping along humming a little tune. It was hard. I never ever expected that. I have fallen in love at first sight with babies in the checkout stand wanting to hug and kiss and squeeze them with love.
But not with my own baby...I didn't feel that overwhelming joyous rush of sticky sweet love. I knew that it would just take time....just take getting to know this little human being that I carried for nine months that I was caring for the very best I could despite the difficulties! There is only one problem with the it will just take time thing....I am extremely impatient!
And then one day about a month ago I looked at Sophie and just started to cry. At last the bells were ringing out at last we were skipping along down the gumdrop trail filled with birds singing and the prettiest puffy clouds you have ever seen!
I was thrilled with love for her....and it was such a rush I just had to squeeze her! And it just keeps getting better!
And I know how cheesy it is but every time I hear this song I think of my beautiful little girl!

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Oh you know, you know, youknow
Id never ask you tochange
If perfect is whatyou're searching for
Then just stay thesame

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are

Sorry the picture is so fuzzy but she is so cute!

And its all so true.

The Plan....Now with new goals!!!

2010-11-18T20:48:00.002-06:00

So about a month and a half ago I came up with a four step plan to help get my non-sleeping baby girl to sleep better. At that point in our lives it took anywhere from 20min - 2 hours or more to get her to go to sleep much less stay asleep. Due to some difficult work we are now worlds away from that time but still not in perfect dreamy sleep land.

The Plan:

~~#1. Ween her off of the "cuddle blankets".~~

#2. Get her on more of a regular schedule.
~~#3. Ween her off the swaddle.~~
~~#4. Help her learn to go to sleep~~ on her own.

In light of some of the advances we have made I have decided to add additional goals to the sleep plan. I know I am crazy....

#5. Get rid of paci!

#6. Get her to the point where we can just lay her down say goodnight and she will go to sleep.

How The Plan is going:

#2. So apparently this needed to be much further down on the list if not completely off of the list. With the utter unpredictability of naps it is all but impossible to try and keep some kind of regular schedule. And since I have no idea how to get her to sleep for a regular or reasonable amount at nap time I suppose we will remain using the wake, eat, play sleep cycle that we have been using and hope that someday we can add some actual time slots to each of those activities.

#4. For the most part she puts herself to sleep. She still cry's sometimes when we put her down but never for longer than about 15 min at the extreme most. She does however cry and never goes to sleep when she is put down in the pack and play :-( which is very frustrating since that is where she needs to sleep when we are out. She was doing better sleeping at night going a 9 hour stretch and then a 3 or 4 hour stretch. and. then. she went back to only sleeping a 5 hour stretch and then waking every 2 or 3 hours. I have no idea why and I have no idea what to do about it! For naps she has been doing fairly well for the most part. On good days taking one 1 1/2 hour or more nap and two 45 min to 1 hour naps. On bad days she takes three to four 30 min naps. She seems to be having more good day's than bad.

#5. I never wanted to use a paci to begin with. I just thought why start something we are going to have to try and quit someday? I actually ended up caving in the hospital! Sophie just wanted to eat and eat and since we had to spend three day's in the hospital due to the c-section and they frown on you sleeping in bed with the baby I was desperate to give her something to suck on besides me so I could sleep! She never really took it very well and never ever took it outside of going to sleep. These day's for the most part when I put her down in bed she usually pull's it out anyway! So starting at nights only I will be trying to rock her without the paci and then put her down.

#6. After I get rid of the paci (hopefully) I am going to start trying to move from rocking her and then putting her down to just laying her down and saying goodnight!

And so the plan continues...

She loves to jump!

Make um laugh!

2010-11-15T17:17:00.000-06:00

I was finally able to get Sophie laughing on video! Sorry about the loud "bocking"!

I love baby laughing it just makes you laugh! You can also here her kicking her feet towards the end. That means she is really happy and excited!!!

Home at last!

2010-11-11T17:19:00.005-06:00

So uhh yeah we are buying a HOUSE!
I have not posted much about it because well there was not much to say for a while and now when there is much to say its stressful and I usually like to try and ignore stressful things as much as possible.
We close on Nov 30th (hopefully!) its pretty small and needs a lot of work.
I am however despite the stress extremely excited! We have been living in apartments now for a little over five years and its really starting to get old.
Things I am looking forward to:

A backyard!!!!!
A real mailbox.
Storage space.
Not hearing music from upstairs at midnight.
Walls that are some color other than WHITE!
A kitchen that is not a closet.
Having enough space to have people over.
Finally having a home not just a house!

Here is what you all really want to see pictures!

Front door:

Dining room:

View of living room from the dining room:

Kitchen:

Sun room:

Bathroom:

Bedrooms:

Backyard! Its huge:

We have some pretty hefty remodel plans that we are trying to accomplish before we move in Dec. Plus of course we have to pack and then there is Thanksgiving and then Christmas! So the next month should be.......intense.

Its a good thing I am an intense person :-)

4 Months!

2010-11-09T20:37:00.003-06:00

I can not believe my baby is four months old!
Watching the miracle of human development every day is simply astounding. Four months ago Sophie was a tiny 6lb 9oz and that couldn't do anything. Now she is a whopping 14lb 3oz and can smile, laugh, play with toys, throw a fit, almost blow raspberries and bring such amazing joy into our lives.

She loves to grab her feet now!

Oh how I love watching this miracle unfold!

The raspberrie attempt!

Back in time...

2010-11-08T09:41:00.001-06:00

Travel back with me if you will to last week. It was the day after Halloween. Just pretend that its not a week later.
Check out our little gypsy turned werewolf!

Happy Halloween from the future!

Is that a light I see?

2010-11-05T15:55:00.000-05:00

This is how I am feeling right about now....

Though we still have some work to do Sophie's sleep issues are so much improved from about a month ago.
I have been to the grocery store twice now (not just me and Sophie yet we went with Trevor) and she sat happy as can be in her car seat almost the entire time.
I made a Wal-Mart trip just the two of us (risky I know) the other day to get a few things and she once again sat in her car seat for 30 min or more perfectly happy.
During the day she is more content to spend time just sitting playing chilling out. Most of the time even when she is getting fussy if she can see me she is happy.
I knew from the moment that I realized that Sophie was my special challenge supreme baby that someday things would get better. That I needed to endure and find joy through the valley and before you know it the top of the mountain would be there taking our breath away. And what do you know....I am breathless....

EDIT: OK so this always seems to happen I wrote the above post out a couple of day's ago....and now everything has changed we have had a few bad day's. For almost a week she magically started sleeping 1-2 hours at nap time (which I thought was due to me darking the room by putting a blanket over her window) and was doing a little bit better at night going about a 6 hour stretch and then about every 3 hours after that.
The past few day's NOT SO MUCH! Back to napping only 30 -40 min at a time and will not sleep longer than a 4-5 hour stretch at night and then wakes sometimes an hour after feeding! I am so sleep deprived and at this point have NO idea what to do......so frustrated!!! One step forward two steps back.
I love you Sophie I truly do!

This is Halloween!

2010-11-03T16:50:00.001-05:00

We had so much fun....only four hours worth of makeup time and two hours worth of "trick-or-treating" specifically to both grandparents houses.

It was worth every minuet!

And the aftermath!

Somehow I did not get a really good picture of all three of us and any of our little werewolf baby! I will hopefully be able to post some later in the week as i know they exist somewhere in the universe!

More tradition, Yeahh!!

2010-10-27T20:56:00.003-05:00

Here comes more fun and wonderful traditions! *jumping up and down*

Before I got married I had never carved a pumpkin. At least not that I could remember. So the first Halloween that Trevor and I were married we carved pumpkins together. I was immediately in love! Using knives...squishy pumpkin guts...thinking of something creative and scary to carve....lighting them up and turning all the lights off to watch them glow....eating roasted pumpkin seeds....wonderful!!

We have done it every year since and taken pictures of our jack-o-lanterns like they were babies. I love it.

Obviously baby girl is not old enough to handle a sharp knife and really actually not old enough to handle a marker....but we worked it out!

Two firsts in one! Pumpkin "carving" and marker on her skin!

Later on mom and dad helped out a bit with the carving.

The Plan..."Cry baby, cry make your mama sigh"!

2010-10-26T20:32:00.001-05:00

~~#1. Ween her off of the "cuddle blankets".~~

#2. Get her on more of a regular schedule.
~~#3. Ween her off the swaddle.~~
~~#4. Help her learn to go~~ to sleep on her own.

#4. Despite my somber title things have actually gone fairly well! I am almost embarrassed that I put this off for so long because apparently all my worry that it was going to be horrible was for nothing. Just another huge number of hours of my life wasted on worry! uhhhg!

Soooo I wrote the above two days after we started with sleep training. Sophie tricked us and it is not doing quite as well as the above seems to imply. She is still doing MUCH better than I though but let me just say......this. is. hard.
So far she goes down at night the best with a minuscule 20 min of crying and for the most part no crying at all. She goes down for most of her naps with no crying and sometimes crying for 20 - 30 min. So you say what is the problem what are you complaining about?
Nap length. :-(
She only sleeps for 30 - 45 min tops and we were trying to help her extended those nap times. I have since given up on that!!!! I know she is not getting quite as much daytime sleep as she needs to but we will work on that later. Right now its just too much to do both go to sleep and stay asleep!

#2. To be attempted some other time. Bed time is now between 7:45 and 8:00 pm and wake up is usually around 8:30 am and thats all we got so far!

Check it out! Parrot baby!

Also ten points to whomever can correctly tell me what TV show the quote in the post title is from. I will give you a hint: It is from the episode that was supposed to be the show's pilot.
Trevor you can't play!

Pumkintastic!

2010-10-21T18:13:00.000-05:00

I know thats not a word and not even a very good combination of words but thats how I felt when we took our first ever pumpkin patch pictures!!!!

I thrive on traditions and rituals, I love the familiarity and the consistency of it. I love the power that grows around them as the memories build. The joy of recalling and talking about what happened last time or the time before. I love how each time is so different and yet so the same how it reveals how things have changed or remained the same.
So starting a new family tradition that I am already anticipating sets my little heart a tingling!
Without further ado I present pumpkins + fantastic!

Beautiful!!!

Two things I Love

2010-10-18T22:48:00.001-05:00

So I should have posted one of these quite some time ago!!! Here it is now anyway!
#1 Lemonade

What can I say I have been on a kick recently. And I am not talking about any of the fresh squeezed stuff with the nasty pulp floating around. I am talking about the I am a little kid making lemonade from concentrate kind. I just love the tangy, tart sweetness and it looks so good and in a glass. Refreshing and delicious.

#2 Impossibly long Eyelashes

Lets face it they are amazing. They fall so softly on little white cheeks and make you sigh. Ohhh so pretty.

The Plan.. Update

2010-10-15T14:34:00.001-05:00

So despite some discouragement and sometimes feeling that "The plan" will never ever work or help and I am just fooling myself there is some positive results!

#1. Ween her off the "cuddle blankets": See number 3
#2. Get her on more of a regular schedule: So far all we have down is bed (sorta) and wake time. I bathe her at 8:30am every night then she nurses and she is completely down for the night by 10 or 10:30 between holding her asleep and her waking up after I have put her down. More on this in number 4.
#3. Ween her off the swaddle: Done!!! Check her out in pajamas! I have been so sad because as she tends to be a bit hot natured she would get extremely sweaty and hot with both the swaddle and jammies on so she has slept in just a diaper and the swaddle for quite some time. I was so excited that she finally sleeps in her cute pajamas! And with the swaddle gone somehow she didn't seem to need the "cuddle blankets" so those just went away!

#4. Help her learn to go to sleep on her own: *sigh* this starts tonight :( I have a sleep sheep that I am hoping she will learn to associate with falling asleep as well as help to sooth and calm her. I am planning on letting her cry for 30 min to 1 hour depending on how upset she gets. I am trying to schedule company for when Trevor is at work so that I don't go crazy! Poor baby she has to learn to go to sleep by herself but this not going to be fun!!! I am hoping that once putting her to sleep is not a 20 min to an hour or more process and once she can nap for longer than an hour at a time then we can keep to a schedule a little bit better.

So thats the plan.........................................................*gulp*!

3 Months!

2010-10-13T18:47:00.000-05:00

Nicknames:
Dad - Chica monkey, chuncka monkey, scooter, scooter pooter, princess, baby bi
Mom - Pickle or little pickle or pickle baby, baby gerkin, pretty eyes, Sophiekins, fuss pot, potful of fuss.

She is..
Doing very well with controlling her arms and legs reaches for toys and sometimes can even grasp them and always try's to get them into her mouth.

Holding her head almost completely steady and is only sometimes a bobble head and holding her head the entire way when you pull her up by her arms from laying on her back.

So close to rolling over but since she hates tummy time hasn't quite got it yet!

Such a loud baby she makes funny sorta yelling noises while playing which sometimes sound mad or sad but usually its just play.

Now in her little tub in the big tub because she splashes like crazy!
In her car seat now without any of the little baby support stuff and she looks like such a big kid.

About to outgrow all the 0-3 months clothing as they are starting to stretch a bit at the bottom and around the middle.

Laughing some! She has done it a couple of times but of course she wont laugh for the same thing twice!

Still a great nurser and typically eats every 2.5 - 3.5 hours.

A beautiful little baby girl!

Dedicated..

2010-10-11T22:36:00.002-05:00

It was wonderful.....
The weather was beautiful the park was pretty we were all dressed up and as usual I was overwhelmed by the awesome, amazing complete wonderfulness of my family. Our cup truly overflows and it makes my heart swell with joy!
We got there 45 min early because Trevor was afraid we were going to need to kick someone out of the pavilion that we had reserved. All was well and no one had trespassed on our reservation.
Little pickle was sleeping in her car seat....a rarity!

She managed to stay asleep for about 30 min and then...

She was up!
I only go a few pictures at the beginning before everyone started to arrive and then I was bustling about and so full of nervous (but good) energy that all thoughts of taking pictures and cameras and the like flew out of my head.

We have dedicated her back into the hands of God.
Thank you so much to all who were there I can not explain how overwhelmingly grateful I am for the role each of you play in my life in Trevor's life and most importantly in my little Sophie's life.
She has no idea yet but she is probably the most loved baby in all the world, she has more love and support than I every could have hoped for or wished for!
We love you all!!

Ohh October!

2010-10-06T17:27:00.006-05:00

Signs that October is here!

I love October, its like the first taste of cake when you know more deliciousness is to come. Ohh yumm I want cake! Pumpkin cake! Its the beginning of the "decoration season" and the beginning of oh so much good food to eat and lots of fun with family! Ohhh and the weather outside is finally oh so nice!

The Plan

2010-10-03T21:00:00.001-05:00

I like to make plans. I like the feeling of order and security that they give me. I like to feel that if I just have a plan then everything is fine and I can handle anything that happens.
All of the above is great however.....plans rarely work out quite like I...... well.... planned them to. I am aware of this reality and can deal with it. But sometimes I am still taken off guard, I still sometimes think "but I had a plan I am sticking to the plan...WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING!"

Here was the plan for Sophiekins to get her to start sleeping better:

#1. Ween her off of the "cuddle blankets".
#2. Get her on more of a regular schedule.
#3. Ween her off the swaddle.
#4. Help her learn to go to sleep on her own.

Here is how the plan is going:

#1. This one I tried to do for about a week and then completely gave up and haven't tried again since.
#2. This past week was the first time I tried to keep her to any kind of a regular schedule. So far she is still mostly all over the place. Waking up anywhere from 7am - 10:30am and napping anywhere from three to four times a day. She usually will only sleep for an hour at a time during the day unless I can get her to go back to sleep and then she will sleep for another hour or so. Sometimes. I try to put her down to bed at 10pm every night and then she will either wake up between 2 and 4 and then again between 6 and 7 or she will wonderfully sleep till 5 or 7.
So how did trying to keep to a schedule go? Not - that - great - !
I gave us a break this weekend and then tomorrow we are back at it trying to give some predictability to our day!
#3. This is actually not going that bad! She has been sleeping with one arm out for almost a week now and I am going to start her sleeping with both arms out tomorrow...so we shall see how it goes!!
#4. This has not even been attempted yet. I am not looking forward to this as I see sad crying in our future. But I am getting desperate so I have great motivation!
And now some random cuteness!

Wearing dad's work boots

Sitting in mom and dad's bed

When good days go bad!

2010-09-23T15:44:00.000-05:00

So last week due to the magic of the Baby Bjorn I was able to go to Wal-Mart for a whole 45 min with NO problems! Sophie did great only fussing a bit towards the end.

It was so funny when people would notice her and say something like "ohh what a cute baby" I wanted to say.... "Thanks so much I would stop and let you look at her but if I do she will start crying, sorry!!!!" but I just smiled said thank you and kept walking!
So after the wonderfully successful Wal-Mart run I put her in the car and she fell right to sleep. Really good sleep where she stays asleep not the kind where she wakes up every time the car stops moving which makes red lights go from being a minor annoyance to evil torture that will surly never end!
So I bravely decided to drive buy a couple of parks so I can see the pavilion's available so I can decide which one to have Sophie's dedication at. We make it to one park no problem! Then I stop to get gas also no problem.....until.....I went to start the car up and. OH DEAR. The car would not start.
Now I have had my share of dumpy cars over they years so this is not the first time that a car has not started for me. This is however the first time that a car has not started with a two month old baby with me! Its a whole new experience!!!
I called Trevor and we tried to figure out what was wrong with no luck. Fortunately I am blessed to have an abundant amount of family that lives in the area so I called my mom and she and my dad were able to come out and help me.
We went into the gas station to get out of the heat and I walked Sophie around the isles as I laughed to myself about the whole situation.. Of course it was a gas station with a nasty bathroom with nowhere to change Sophie!
Mom and dad got there pretty quickly and it turns out that the battery just needed a jump Sophie and I went right home after that and took a nap!

Is it magic or is it technology!?

2010-09-19T16:42:00.002-05:00

Something new has come into our lives changing it forever and ever.

That is right the magical Baby Bjorn.

I had been looking for one for several weeks on craigslist and could not find one that was in both my price range and my geographical location. I was not going to drive to Plano for a Baby Bjorn, much to painful!
So I finally had a "duh" moment and looked on E-bay. I was so excited to find one for a total of $25 with shipping!!!! We received it about four days later and it was everything I thought it would be! She loves it! She is a bit small to be facing out but since she can not stand to be facing in princess Sophie gets her way.
I have done the dishes twice while wearing her, something I am sure the manufactures of the Baby Bjorn would not approve of but it worked fantastically for us!
We also had an outing that was a win for mommy until something unexpected almost ruined the day... more on that later!

Two things I Love

2010-09-17T16:43:00.000-05:00

I am generally a very upbeat person. I am an eternal optimist.
However.
When things get hard or are not exactly how I want them to be I tend to slip into a bit of self pity. I obsess about what is wrong and start wishing that I could just "skip to the end" or at least to a better part.
I have struggled all my life to enjoy the now and to not think only of what is to come trying to rush towards the next step thinking that if I could only be doing (insert whatever I was not currently doing here) then everything would be great. After about 20 years of that I finally began to learn that it didn't work. So now I have to be intentional in living for now and not for tomorrow.
In that vein I present Two things I Love I will try and post them regularly but I make no promises since life with a fussy two month old is very unpredictable.

# 1
Tiny Socks in the Dryer

Nothing compares to pulling the laundry out of the dryer and left behind as if they were perfectly and purposely placed are tiny little socks that say....OH my you have a tiny little baby. That's right YOU have a tiny baby!!!!!! Its thrilling and oh so joyful!

#2
Flowers for your Anniversary

They sit on the kitchen table and not only do they look pretty and bring a little big of the fresh and beauty of nature into the house they also remind you that yep... you are loved!!!!

Confession

2010-09-13T19:59:00.000-05:00

I have a difficult baby. There I said it.
It has been very difficult for me to acknowledge that or even say it out loud. Partially because I don't want to seem like a wuss and mostly because I don't want anyone to think for a second that just because Sophie is difficult that I am not head over heals in love with her. I don't want anyone to think I am complaining or that I would change anything. Well maybe I would change it a little bit ! -)

I am very much so the happiest I have every been in my entire life. Literally all my dreams have come true! I am married to an amazing, wonderful, fantastic man who also happens to be my very best friend that I love spending time with. I have a beautiful little girl that I waited for impatiently for for over two years crying so many times because I could not wait to have her! I am blessed to be able to stay at home and devote my life to raising my children something that I feel I was made to do.
However......Sophie is a challenge....she challenges me to be patient to be kind and loving when I am at my most frustrated. She challenges me to push through sleep deprivation to give her my best even when I feel like I could fall over. She challenges me to endure through the discomfort and to look for and be grateful for the blessings that are mixed in with the challenge.
And I have this feeling that the challenge will continue for quite some time......and I also have this feeling that there is a very good reason that Sophie is my challenge child that it is good for me and that I will learn so much.
And oh how I love my challenge baby! She is as much a part of me as my arms are a part of me. She fills the great big whole that has been empty without her. She smiles and coos and sometimes cry's her way deeper into my heart every day.
And in the spirit of confession may I present. Crying baby....

Sorry about the loud annoying whistling!!

Happy Anniversary

2010-09-10T11:00:00.003-05:00

Time to gush a bit....

Four years ago today I married the most wonderful man in the world. That may seem like an exaggeration but I assure you it is not.

One of the happiest days of my life. I can not explain the absolute joy!

He is an AMAZING husband. He takes wonderful care of me by doing everything from working hard at a job he doesn't really love to rubbing my shoulders when I need him to. He is so kind and strong as a rock I depend on him for so much. He is so gentle with me when I need it and
he is so much fun to be around!

He is a fantastic dad! I am so overwhelmed by just how wonderful a father he is to our little Sophie. Having this baby has just made me love him even more.

It has been almost 8 years since I first felt that rush of ewy gooy love for him and I still feel that way today. I love the kid he was then and I am in awe of the man he is today.

Taken a year before we got married. The first Halloween that we dressed up together.

I love you Trevor more than I can ever tell you. I guess I will just have to keep showing you over our lifetime together. Looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together!

2 Month Pictures!

2010-09-09T16:27:00.003-05:00

Here she is in all her 2 months of glory!

Looking at my feet!

My Elvis face.

Looking at my doll.

THE END!

2 Months!

2010-09-07T12:54:00.000-05:00

Well she was five days ago! Mommy has been busy!

She now weights a whopping 11 lb 5 oz.
She is 22 and 3/4 inches long.
She got two shots at her 2 month Dr. appointment and it was so sad! The day she got the shots she fell asleep on my shoulder. No swaddle no hours worth of walking and patting and shushing and holding. Fortunately I knew it was due to the shots or I would have thought something was very wrong with her!
We are going to try (once I have a chance to run out to the store) using some homeopathic chamomile to help little Sophie relax and get to sleep better hopefully!

She has outgrown her little bathtub hammock and is now using the big girl part of the tub.

She has been pushing her feedings further apart the past few days and has been going over 3 hours or more. At night she goes anywhere from 5 hours between feedings to 8 hours between feedings. Nothing consistent yet still all over the place!
She has discovered her feet and is fascinated by them. I think she wants to eat them but just cant quite yet!
She does a really good mini push up even though she has a very short tolerance for tummy time!

And she is one cute baby! 2 month pictures coming soon!!...

Purple Punisher

2010-08-31T00:20:00.005-05:00

So we have been dealing with a case of what I originally thought was thrush but apparently was a bacterial infection. Nursing had started to become slightly painful right after Sophie turned 6 weeks old. Buy the middle of last week it was getting to be as painful as when I first started nursing. So on Thursday of last week I called the midwife and they suggested that we try treating it with Gentian Violet. After what seemed like a global search we finally found some at a local pharmacy and I started using it.
And the purple people eater baby ensued:

By Saturday things had gotten much worse! Nursing was extremely painful so I called the midwife again and they referred me to a lactation consultant. Rounds of phone calls later I had a prescription for an antibiotic and a topical treatment.

After the second day of treatment:

In her purple outfit in honor of her purple mouth:

I am happy to say that things are MUCH better now!

And now!! Sophie speaks!
That was a couple of weeks ago right around the time when she first started talking and now she has really found her voice and will talk for several minuets at a time and quite loudly!
Look out world her she comes!

Pretty girl!

2010-08-29T12:54:00.001-05:00

Isn't she so pretty!

Now when you take her picture she will often look directly at the camera! Trying to figure it out!

The sleep saga continues! The funny thing about it is that once she actually goes to sleep which could take anywhere from 20 min to 2 hours she is a really good sleeper. Night before last she went from 10:00pm - 6:00am without eating. 8 hours!! However she did not go to bed until midnight! And if you can get her down for a nap she usually will sleep at least two hours.
I have been trying to figure out patterns and note what seems to work and what does not seem to work however it is impossible because she never seems to react the same way twice!
I have a sinking feeling in my heart that we are going to have to battle this out soon enough :-(

She is however a very pretty girl! Coming soon....Sophie speaks! (she has been talking for several weeks I just have not had a chance to post the video!)

My Family...

2010-08-19T20:07:00.003-05:00

When Trevor and I first got married I was so excited that I had my own family. I loved building a life with my husband and making our own family traditions and being our own little family.
But now....oh my now! We have a real live true family....we have a daughter....it is still amazing to me! It is still unbelievable to be able to say....I have a daughter! We have our own little three person family and how I am loving it!

I still have not had a chance to really put these through Photoshop like I would like to but that is life with a 6 week old!

This one is my favorite :-)

Daddy and Sophie don't they look good together!

By the time we were trying to take pictures with Sophie and me she was not in a very good mood!

Don't you like my "star is born" face. Trevor has his I am done with taking pictures look and Sophie has her I am tired face down in the paci look!

I love my family!

Zombie Mom....

2010-08-17T16:08:00.005-05:00

Halloween 2008

Ok so its not that bad but the sleep deprivation is starting to get to me....Zzzzz

It seems like so much has changed all of the sudden! Sophie is wearing size 1 diapers and they fit her well. She has out grown most of her newborn clothes and I am already having to put them away :-(
She is getting so good at holding her head up.

I put her in her bumbo set yesterday for the first time and she did great! I think she really likes it! She sat and looked at all the pretty colors on the shelf and smiled at them.

Sadly her sleeping problems have not improved everything we try only has varying levels of success and almost nothing that works once works twice.
I am working on a 12 step (or maybe 20 step or maybe 31 step) plan that starts with me transitioning her from her little bed in our room to her great big crib in her own room. She is so little in that great big bed! She took all her naps in the crib today and did very well.

Yes she still has to have her cuddle blankets that make her feel like she is being held!

And so the plan begins....

Mommy and Grocery Store VS Baby Sophie Round 1

2010-08-10T22:53:00.003-05:00

Soooo venturing out from the home cocoon doesn't always go perfectly!

I was going to go grocery shopping today. It was time. We really needed groceries and Sophie is over a month old now so I want to start doing such things as going to the grocery store.
I planned everything out as detailed as I could getting ready to go while she was napping, timing her feeding for just before we left, getting the list together and having in in my purse.
SO everything was going well I made one small mistake and was hungry by the time we left. I have to start remembering that I should eat before I go anywhere even if I don't feel hungry because most likely I am distracted by getting ready and don't feel it!
When I got to the store and was taking Sophie out of the car I realized I had for the first time forgotten the diaper bag.....du du dunnn. I was beginning to start thinking that perhaps this trip might not turn out so well. Then once I got my cart and had Sophie's car seat set in it I realized that I had also forgotten my reusable shopping bags. Not a problem unless you are shopping at Aldi where you bag your own groceries. They have bags that you can purchase but they are not big and huge like my reusable shopping bags so it would take me a lot longer to bag the large amount of food I was going to buy! At that point I almost turned around and went back to the car.
But I did not want to waist all the prep time I had already spent (preparation that did not include remembering the diaper bag or the shopping bags!) so I thought what the heck I will try it!
I bravely pushed my cart with my fussy little girl down the first isle. We made it down the second isle with a happy baby but......by the time I hit the end of the second isle she was starting to fuss. I made a break for it! By the time we were in the checkout lane she was crying and by the time I was done checking out she was screaming! I know that will not be the last time my child is screaming in some store somewhere but I don't think it will ever get more comfortable.
Sorry everyone my daughter is screaming....deal with it!

Round one goes to baby Sophie~

Whirlwind weekend!

2010-08-10T00:08:00.003-05:00

Today was definitely Monday! My house is a mess I didn't get out of my pj's until some time after noon and I didn't get anything done!
Friday morning we tried round two of getting Sophie to take a bottle. The first time we tried I believe we had the bottle assembled incorrectly. Sophie was screaming and we were trying to look up assembly instructions online! We never found them even after we gave up and I nursed her. After some home investigation we figured out that for some reason there were several plastic parts inside the bottle that I don't believe are necessary? Don't ask me why they were in there!
So we tried again without the plastic bits inside the bottle and SUCCESS! She did great! I was so happy I was jumping around the house....she is eating and I am not feeding her!!! Yeah!!!
That afternoon I had an appointment to get my hair cut at last. It was well over due. Little one did fairly well and waited to start crying until I was almost done with my haircut.
Saturday we needed to take one of our car's in for some work so we jumped in the car right after Sophie's early morning feeding and picked up some breakfast on the way home. Not long after we got back Trevor's Aunt Laura and Rhonda came for a visit and not long after that Trevor's parents stopped by for a visit. Then we had run back out to pick up the car! Needless to say we were all worn out and needed a nap after all of that!
Sunday we had planned on trying to take family pictures at the Gaylord hotel. Sophie took a good morning nap so I was able to get ready and Trevor left at 1:30 to pick up my little sister to take the pictures for us. We headed out at about 2:30 and that is when I realized I was so busy getting everyone ready that I had failed to notice that I was hungry...oh dear! We found the hotel without any problems but once we got there figured out that sadly we would have to park in the parking garage which cost $12!!!! It was also a bit of a walk to the hotel! Note to us put the stroller in the car and keep it there! We made it inside and Sophie was just happy enough for about half of the pictures :-( Then she was done and started fussing.
Here is a taste of the pictures we were able to get. I want to photo-chop the rest!

I call this one "fussy baby"

One Month!!!!

2010-08-06T01:17:00.006-05:00

Wow I can not believe it has been a month since little bit made her dramatic appearance in our lives!

What has changed over the past month since we first laid eyes on sweet Sophie?

Chubby bunny!! She gets chubbier every day....I can literally see the fat rolls growing and appearing here and there.

Her hair is getting lighter and longer every day and so far no signs that it is falling out!

She is stronger and can hold her head up higher and longer.

She can actually focus on things and for a longer period of time.

And she can SMILE! Its wonderful!

Happy one month B-day Sophie!

Sophie Love!

2010-08-04T22:57:00.001-05:00

What do I love about my girl.....everything! But to be more specific.

I love her round little cheeks that just beg to be kissed.

I love her cute little impossibly turned up noes that I have no idea where it came from.

I love how soft and sweet her whole little body is from the top of her head to her tiny toes!

I love doing things like this! After all I did have a kid mostly just to have someone to play with!

I love her super wonderful sweet smile gas or accident or not!

I love that she is all mine! Mine to care for and mine to love mine to kiss and hug....mine to give back to the one who so amazingly entrusted her to me!

Love you Sophie!

Danger of book reading!!!

2010-08-03T16:57:00.004-05:00

I got four baby books from the library.......and as is typical of me I am now overreacting a bit to the information and struggling to use the best parts and leave the rest.
Our biggest difficulty right now is that Sophie for some reason starting about a week ago forgot how to go to sleep! She struggles against it crying because she is so tired but rocking, bouncing, pacifiers, swaddling, shushing, singing and everything else seems to only have varying levels of success. Once she finally falls asleep I carefully put her down and she either wakes up immediately or about 5 -10 min later sometimes. After about and hour to an hour and a half of this she will finally fall asleep and stay asleep!
Other than that she is the sweetest bundle of love ever as can be seen below!

Look she is sleeping! Yay!

I was so upset that this came out so fuzzy! I need my new camera! Only $250 to go!

Her sweet little hands.

And I know that This to shall pass :-)

Three weeks!

2010-07-30T22:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday!
She was not wanting to have her picture taken yesterday for her three week birthday!

Sophie and I went to the library just the two of us today! Everything went mostly well except that I got two incorrect books. Opps!

The birth story of Sophie...

2010-07-29T16:48:00.003-05:00

Please feel free not to read this big long thing!

I very much wanted a natural un-medicated birth. I wanted to do this on my own to prove to myself that I could do it. I wanted the moment of her birth to be the rush that I saw other women have. I wanted to pull her to my chest after the hard work of labor and be the first one to hold her and comfort her. I did not get to do any of that. I will give it up in time not too much time but it will take some time.
All that being said.....I am so grateful that I live in a time where through medical advances they can ensure the best outcome for both me and my little one. I am so grateful for my BEAUTIFUL and wonderful daughter. I can not at this point put to words how much I love her how amazing and mind blowing she is.

On Monday the 5th I was having some slightly "twingy" contractions for most of the night. They just made me restless and woke me up every once and a while. I was encouraged that at last I was starting to have real contractions! On Tuesday the 6th we had an early midwife appointment to do the non-stress test for baby girl to make sure she was ok to continue cooking since I was 40 weeks and 1 day. We got to the office at 8:30am and they hooked me up to the machine. I was having slight contractions still and baby girl did well jumping around for the first few minutes and then she promptly went to sleep! Since she did not move three times within the 45 min I was on the machine they had to send me over to triage. If she did not perform well there they were going to admit me :-( We walked over to the hospital and they set me up in the triage room on the monitors. She did great moved a bunch and had good heart acceleration! I was having slightly painful contractions about 7 min apart during the test. It was already hurting in my back so I was thinking that sadly I was going to be having a lot of back labor.
After we left the hospital we went ahead with our previously made plans and headed to the Great Outdoors a sub shop that we really like not that far from the hospital. Then we went to the art museum and walked around for a couple of hours. We went home to wait!
Buy around 5pm the contractions were starting to get more serious. I was having trouble focusing on whatever it was that we were watching. I started timing them at 10:30 pm and they were anywhere from 2 min apart to 9 min apart. At around 2:30 am we called the midwife and she suggested that I take a bath and see how things went after that, she said I still sounded to happy! The bath was nice my back was hurting but it did help me relax. Things did not change much through the night I would walk and Trevor would rub my back and then I would rest sitting on the exercise ball. At about 5 am Trevor and I were both exhausted and I called and asked my mom to come over for a little bit so Trevor could get some sleep. My contractions seemed to be slowing down some so I tried to rest and was able to get a little sleep.
At 8 am I moved a little bit and felt a gush of fluid. I woke Trevor up and he called the midwife. They said to walk as much as I could and call them within four hours or when the contractions were about 5 min apart. So that is what I did...walked and the pain started to get a little bit more intense. At around noon we decided to go ahead in to the hospital because the contractions were about 5 min apart and I felt like I needed a change of some sort. I also really wanted to know what kind of progress I had made.
We got to the hospital at around 1 pm. When the midwife came and checked me I was.... get ready for it..........2 cm dilated 90% effaced. I cussed. I was so mad. All that work.....and a 2!!!!!
The midwife asked me to walk around for an hour and then she would check me again. If I had made no progress then she was going to have to put in an internal monitor that would show the strength of my contractions. I agreed and we walked the halls for an hour however it made no difference I was no further along. They put in the internal monitor and the midwife told me I would need to be at 4 cm by 4 pm or they would need to start pitocin due to the fact that my water had broken and I only had until 2 am to deliver the baby.
Well wonder of all wonders I was only at 3 cm by 4 pm so they started the pitocin. I was really worried about handling the pain with the pitocin but they all assured me that I could do it as I had been doing very well so far. The back labor was EXTREMELY painful. Poor Trevor his hand was killing him from rubbing my back. The only way that I could sit without the pain becoming extreme was almost completely strait up. I think I would have benefited from walking or standing or something but I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors!
By almost 9 pm I had only made it to 6 cm and two hours later finally made it to 7 cm 90% effaced +1. At that point for some reason the anterior lip of my cervix was a little bit swollen. The midwife wanted me to lie on my back or my side. That was shear torture! It hurt not only in my back but also in my sciatic nerve. At that point I knew I could not keep doing this. I started talking with the midwife about an epidural. I didn't want to get one but I knew I could not stand another X many long hours before I finally made it to 10 cm. Also the pain from lying on my back or on my side was unbelievable. I was so exhausted and just wanted to take a little nap and then keep going. After some tears an a lot of discussion I decided to get the epidural. I must admit to still wondering if that was the right thing and still feeling bad about deciding to get the epidural.
It took about 1/2 an hour for them to get the anesthesiologist in there and took him about 10 min to put in the epidural. It was not my favorite thing ever : - ( My legs were all tingly and heavey but I could not feel the back labor any more! At last I was able to relax and I tried to take a little nap hoping to progress quickly and wake up in time for the epidural to wear off and to start pushing.
Not to long after I was trying to nap they started to worry about baby girl. Her heart rate was dropping not just during contractions. They stopped the pitocin and put me on oxygen for a little while and tried to flip me from side to side. This did not get her to improve much and the midwife checked me and I was only barely at 8 cm. They evaluated the contractions I had been having and how the baby was doing and suggested that we should have her delivered via c-section. The contractions were not strong enough or close enough together and we were getting very close to 18 hours from the time that my water broke. The midwife suggested rather than waiting until it was more of an emergency situation that we have her delivered by c-section then.

We sadly agreed and they started to prep me for surgery. I cried and could not believe that somehow we had gotten to this point. The midwife asked if I had any questions.....I only had one...why? She did not have an exact answer. Know one really knows I guess! Why did my water break? Why were my contractions not strong enough or close enough together? Why did walking not make them better? I don't know the answer to any of those questions but I have to accept that this is the way God intended things to go and that I can learn from this experience and hopefully help others because of this someday.
They got me all ready for the surgery and then took me back to the operating room. When Trevor walked in they had apparently already done the incision because his eyes were huge and he said "Ok I have seen all the blood I need to see!" He then told me I was going to have to stop having surgeries! I was starting to get a little bit cold but I was really excited about finally after everything getting to see my little girl! I could not believe it was finally happening! They told me when they were about to pull her out and with a big push on what felt like my chest she was born at 2:31am July the 8th! I herd just a little wahh of a cry.....it was surreal! That was my baby crying!?! They brought her around the sheet for just a second all covered in muck and gray. She was beautiful! It was hard to connect that little thing to the being that I had carried around for the past 40 weeks and 3 days. They had Trevor go around the sheet and he was taking pictures of them cleaning her up and getting her all ready. She was just giving little wahh's now and then. When she was all ready Trevor brought her around the sheet and I cried little sobby tears. Wow....that was my baby. It was so hard not getting to hold her. I had Trevor hold her up to my face so I could kiss her and put her face on mine. At that point I was shivering really bad because of the cold. I was trying to stop but it was very difficult!
At last they were done and they moved me to the gurney and handed her to me. To be honest I don't really completely remember what I felt at that moment. I know that I was so happy to finally have her in my arms. I remember being afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold her because I was shaking so much. I remember how surreal it felt to finally be holding her. I think I kissed her as they wheeled me back to the L&D room.
I asked when I could start trying to breast-feed. They said right now if you want to! Much to my amazement and absolute delight she latched right on! I was so happy and could not believe it!

Little Sophie Munro:
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me! I have waited my whole life for you! I have wanted you for so long and at last you are here. You were such hard work to bring into the world. Not everything went as planned!! But you should know I would do all that and more over again just to get you! I would do anything for you! I love you more than you will ever know and will always appreciate that the best things come from hard work!
You are deeply and truly loved.
Your mama!

Smiles are sweet!

2010-07-28T23:57:00.004-05:00

Ohh the joy of a baby smile. I know that she is not smiling on purpose but I enjoy their sweetness anyway! She is trying so hard to focus on things....so hard she sometimes goes cross eyed! It makes mom and dad laugh!

This picture was so fuzzy but I saved it because its the best one I have of her smile!

The sly sideways smile!

And my new favorite!

After a rough start she seems to have "warmed" to bath time. I think she is shaping up to be a bath time lover!

After bath time mom and dad like to play with her abundance of hair!

And here are some more just because I think they are great!

Sorry everyone else she is the cutest baby ever :-)

Spontaneous Wal-Mart

2010-07-26T20:42:00.008-05:00

Saturday we attempted to run some errands with baby girl! Things went well due to the fact that she loves the car and so far has fallen asleep every time we put her in her car seat and drive around...yah!
So the first store she went into was....duh da! Wal-Mart! Is that sad or is that just the way it should be? She did great slept the whole time in her car seat just like I hoped she would. Of course it was Sat and Wal-Mart so it was crazy and we had a random list of things we needed so we had to transverse most of the expanse that is Wal-Mart. I still write Wal-Mart with a dash even though their new signs are all dash free like this...what the heck!
We ran by one other place that I went in to while Trevor and Sophie waited outside and that was as ambitious as we felt.

Sunday we actually did something spontaneous!!! Poor Sophie has been having a hard time going to sleep the past few day's and yesterday she hardly slept at all. If she did go to sleep she woke up a few min later and was wide awake. So Trevor suggested later in the evening that we put her in the car seat and go get ice cream. I doubled that suggestion with lets just get dinner too! So we were off! I finished nursing Sophie (something I do a LOT) put her in her seat threw some shoes on and we jumped in the car....sorta....we don't really jump in the car anymore (yeah!). She fell asleep not long after. We ate at Sonic and.......because I wanted a blizzard then went to Dairy Queen. Not helping myself to lose any more weight but oh well. We did something spontaneous!
We are slowly emerging from our little home cocoon!

Here is some more cuteness!!

2 Weeks!

2010-07-22T22:42:00.004-05:00

Baby Sophie is two weeks old! It is hard to believe but she is already half of a month old!

And I can now say that the newborn faze only lasts a short time for a reason! Its intense! Nothing can prepare you for the constant overwhelming need that this little life presents! But even more so nothing can prepare you for the amazing emotional journey having a new baby will take you on!
I must confess .... I was not prepared to sometimes not know what to do and I was also not expecting that this would be so...well...hard!!! I know - I know people tell you but you just don't have any idea until it happens to you!

Lets see things that have happened over the past two weeks. Her umbilical cord is all off and she has taken two full baths! The first one she screamed through because I was silly and did not feed her before her bath. She has seen the pediatrician this week and gained almost a pound since we left the hospital! She had her poor heal stuck today for her 2nd newborn screening and screamed and cried and was very angry. Her dark hair is getting lighter every day! I am wondering if it is going to fall out or if it will just turn lighter. I hope it sticks around!
Dad and I love her so very much and are so happy to finally have our little baby!

She is here!!!!

2010-07-13T20:07:00.004-05:00

Have not been able to post due to the fact that I had my little baby!!!

She was born on July 8th at 2:31am via c-section (sad!) she was 6lbs 9oz and 18.90 inches.

We love her and are trying to adjust to this new world!